transformations...

I start a new semester in seven days, and I would be lying if I said I was ready. I took summer classes this year, the first summer since going back to college in 2006. I didn't get the full summer of rest I am used to, so this fall and the fifteen hours I am attempting, is going to be tough. By doing this, I will only have to take two classes this Spring. Graduation is coming up too fast.

When I started back to college, after a ten year absence, I had no way of knowing what transformation my life would take. As a wife of ten years and mother of two children, I had accepted the believe that my time for college had passed.

What I found half way through that first semester, was that I had a chance to make our lives better and rise above the ceiling my lack of higher education had placed above me. I also found something for myself. I woke up a long lost friend that I thought had died with my childhood. I found my craft. My Writing.

Now four years later, with the pursuit of a double major (creative writing and linguistics) and graduation nine months away, I am a stronger woman. As women, we are told from childhood that we must wear many hats, but I ask why? Why can't I wear just one? The one hat that encompasses everything that I am: wife, mother, sister, daughter, granddaughter, college student, writing center tutor, friend, writer, etc. (because we all know there are many other titles). Why can't I wear that one hat, that is just me?

I am grateful for the experiences and lessons I have gleaned from the classes I have taken, the people I now call friends, and the professors whose wisdom has built the foundation I will use to create my future. Am I afraid of not getting a job? No, anything will be and pay better then where I was four years ago. Am I afraid I will not make it as a writer? No.

Writing is the breath that keeps me sane. To stop writing as I did for ten years, before coming back to college, would be to deny apart of who I am. It would negatively impact my family because it would negatively impact me. Yes, I want to be published. Yes, I will pursue publication. If for some reason I never see my work on a book shelf or an e-reader, I will know I tried. I will know that I traveled well, leaving nothing behind.